This is my confession…
Submitted by: Reallaerreal
Before I became a JYJ fangirl, I was a TVXQ fan. Even though I have never called myself a Cassiopeia, I was proud of TVXQ and proud of Cassiopeia and Bigeast. Although I thought and still think that the Guinness world record as the biggest fanclub is kind of a lame record when fans post it on webboards, I loved knowing that those boys have lots of support.
…2010 was a year filled with mixed news + feelings… it felt like it’s been longer than a year.
Let me be honest.
This is what I’ve got from 2010.
This is my confession.
January 2010: “Don’t forget…baby, we keep the faith eternally”
I began this year with the rumor about TVXQ disbanding. That news started on 1st of January! Brilliant! What a good New Year’s Day! I was panicked, angry, and upset. However, I realized that it was fake news and I could still have Tohoshinki at any time…so I thought my days as a TVXQ fangirl wouldn’t stop easily.
And this month, we were cheering on a new musical star who portrayed his Mozart role in a heartfelt and beautiful manner. I wish I could have had enough money to fly to Seoul.
February 2010: “Find me and I’ll be there for you”
We got a compilation album of Tohoshinki…but you notice the last recorded song With All My Heart that they recorded together under difficult situation. The harmony is just not right. *sigh*
March 2010: “Toki wo tomete”
Toki wo Tomete…I really wish I could stop the time…
April 2010: “…”
That month, I realized many things I tried to deny in the past.
April 8th: AVEX announce Tohoshinki suspension, it’s the time that I realized…that hope seemed so far away. It was the only time that I really cried for TVXQ.
April 13th: Max Matsuura drunk-tweeted, telling everyone that there was a big problem between 3 vs 2.
April 14th: AVEX announced “Thanksgiving Live at Dome” for JEJUNG/JUNSU/YUCHUN…why should they do this? But I would like to be there anyway…
April 23rd: Harsh letters toward JYJ was translated into English… less and less hope.
I don’t know what happened, but then I decided to fly to Japan…Why not? Because it might be the last time I could be there, at Tokyo Dome, watch any of them perform there. Who knows?
May 2010: “Stroke you like an arpeggio”
More and more frustration in the fandom. Things kept on like that until June…
(And at the time, we got adorable super failed “Doctor” from Sunao Ni Narenakute)
Then…Bamm! We got…Intoxication with sexy duck butt >.<
June 2010: “Keep in mind that I love you”
Thanksgiving Live …it was the most emotional concert ever…We got a new cry baby who cried from the 1st song in the 1st round of the concert in Osaka and cried till the end of the last round.
From that moment…I was full of love in my heart…at least JJ, YC, JS are still in love. So why can’t we?
July 2010: “Hey everybody get ready tonight alright”
JYJ flew to the US at the end of June…stayed there for 2 weeks…recorded new album…
(RIP to Park Yongha, one of JJ’s best friends and a great hyung to the other members)
August 2010: “I promise not to forget…always I believe myself”
Such a beautiful perfect orange ocean scene at A-Nation…Who knew that it could be the last time we see JYJ on Japanese soil? Even news already spread among Bigeast…it’s still hard to believe.
September 2010: “사랑해 널 사랑해”
Again many things happened this month.
– “The…” mini-album that contains the precious song W (Even though it’s not written by them, but the lyricist said that it’s from JYJ’s opinion.)
– Just a week after “The…”, AVEX announced that CEO of JYJ agency has criminal record and might be associated with the mafia, which is unacceptable so they have to halt JYJ activities in Japan until further notice. And with a rebuttal from JYJ, a bunch of fans just left them because of their harsh words and rumor spread faster.
(And now, only some fans realized that it’s not the real reason…it’s because AVEX and SM decided to do business together again, after all.)
– On a happy note for this month…In Korea, we got Mr. Perfect, Lee Sun Joon… a Korean song sung by JYJ…Chajatta… (Even the OST of SKKS was blocked at the beginning…a sign of more blocking.)
October 2010: Why can’t you let it go (Let it go, let it go, let it go)
So, this month, we got The Beginning, an English album with Worldwide Showcase in Asia. I can’t say it’s a bad move or a good move but at least they were still sing and got to meet some fans.
SM filed another lawsuit, claimed that JYJ signed double contract with C-JeS and claimed that JYJ don’t have any right to release an album. Later, SM dropped the 2nd claim, but still pursue the 1st claim in the court. But C-JeS and JYJ clearly stated that JYJ are the ones who hire C-JeS and not the other way around.
Also, KFCPAI aka KFC become such a joke and lame organization when they sent “official letters” asking all broadcasting stations to NOT promote JYJ in any way.
And yes, the trio started their twitter accounts ><. The beginning of twitter addiction!
November 2010: “Cause I’m right here standing, that’s how I know I can withstand…I can soar”
Rocky showcase in the US, for which JYJ have to pay all cost because of their should-have-been-avoidable visas problem, turned out to be great and fun showcases.
Then, they got hail storm for Concert in Seoul which destroyed the roof, but still, each round they got around 35,000 fans who stood there freezing but still enjoyed the show.
(And 5 more self-composed songs from JYJ…seriously…how far and how fast they could grow! Just when I thought they don’t have enough songs to sing for a concert lol.)
December 2010: “I’m not a pierrot”
Various news media decided to interview JYJ. I love how JYJ declared their stand very clearly, spread purely love, not hatred. At first, I’m worried that people are going to hate what they said but then, I realized…haters are going to hate, no matter what they say. I, as a JYJ fan, become more neutral towards everyone because of their interview. No more hatred 🙂
And year end just perfectly fine because JYJ performance on KBS Drama Awards…it might not be perfect in terms of singing but it is emotionally fulfilling…<3
I don’t know when I became a JYJ fan, I don’t even care about that anymore. Now I just want to be a fan that JYJ can be proud of. (Just like one of my friend said.) A fan that spreads love. A fan that supports them through thick and thin. A JYJ fan that would fight for them but not bash their friends, their families, or the others that they still care with all their heart. Let them face the hardship with our full positive support. Let’s begin this New Year with love 🙂